Alex is a 24-year-old from Rochester, New York. He goes into detail about his childhood, family, love, depression, and some things that help him cope.

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The music for this episode was provided by Punch Deck under a creative commons license. You can find Punch Deck on SpotifyBandcamp, iTunes, or wherever you get your music.

Detailed show notes:

Guest Alex
0:00 – 5:55
Imaginary Friends (Jade and Catherine) and storytelling – sound effects – Childhood influences and habits that never faded away – The effects our childhood can have on us as adults. Setting yourself imaginary role-models as a child to help influence yourself to be a better person.

5:55 – 6:46
Hispanic Family – Different generation/culture and their views on the child’s Imagination (What is and is not normal)

6:46 – 10:31
Starting Grade school with limited English speaking abilities and difficult to communicate. Making friends in grade school and schoolyard crushes.

10:31 – 12:05
Growing up with a ‘girls name’ and coping with bullying

12:05 – 19:20
Using an interest in Hip-hop/dissing to cope with bullies – Transitioning from being bullied into becoming the bully with the intentions of hurting people and it’s influences

19:20 – 20:46
Video Games! What video games teach us – how they improve reflexes in real life. Staying a few steps ahead in your thinking.

20:46 – 25:16
Moving onto 7th grade – Homeroom teacher would give all the answers to midterms. The teacher made a fake currency for students they can earn from doing their assignments. Can use points to trade physical things. The anxieties before starting your midterms. The teacher would give the answers at the end of the test by hiding the answer at the end of the question.

25:16 -27:33
Family problems: Family breaking up. Processing this information as a child and not knowing what it means for your family. The breakup of his family influenced his behaviour – he was being reckless.

27:33 – 28:17
Online Dating – Long distance relationships – Love doesn’t have a distance if both people are willing to commit.

28:17 – 30:41
The struggle of being a kid – not thinking your words are worth anything. He wanted to tell his stepdad who was going through a rough patch at the moment due to the breakup with his mum how much he cared about him – that he was his hero.

30:41 – 32:23
The step moves out of the house and sells the family house. He tells his now EX-girlfriend that she has a week to move out. They rent a new house with no Electricity. His mum is pregnant with his little brother and he was worried about her and everything she is probably going through.

32:23 – 33:m02
The stepdad was lying about selling the house. He just told them that because he wanted to rent it to his sister. He told the mother that he kicked them out because he didn’t like that they were living across the road from him. This killed the image of a hero that he had in Alex’s mind.

33:02 – 34:18
Grades dropped drastically due to the breakup of his family and he lost a lot of the goals he had for the future.

34:18 – 35:44
Ninth Grade – Alex talks about his friends and how his best friend was the crutch he needed when his family broke up. His family went from being lower middle class to just ‘poor’ – His mum is collecting social security and receiving help from the state because she can’t work and she has heart problems.

35:44 – 37:00
Battling with depression and encouraging himself to fight through the pain and difficulties. He gets back into reading and studying psychology. He enjoyed reading the textbook to help him heal and learned a few things about people – the book changed his interactions around people and influenced him to keep his defenses up.

37:00 – 37:57
His father put a lot of pressure on him and was always comparing him to his aunt. His aunt would get Straight A’s all the way through high school and his father wanted the same for him.

37:57 – 38:51
Alex talks about everyone telling him that he is intelligent and has a lot of potential to make a lot out of himself. This puts him under immense pressure and due to his depression he didn’t want anything out of the world.

38:51 – 39:48
He meets a sweet girl and falls in love with her. She supports him a lot and helps him through a lot of problems he is having. The girlfriend encouraged him to see a therapist.

39:48 – 40:56m
Talks about his father and the lack of support he gets from him. He wishes his father was more open with him. He talks about his father pushing lots more pressure at him.

40:56 – 41:49
Father can’t make it to his High school graduation –

41:49 – 42:22
Didn’t seek any help from guidance counselors and ended up just going to community college. It wasn’t the right time for him, he knew he shouldn’t have gone at all.

42:22 – 43:24
Talks about wanting to be an Engineer – Went to a good Engineering school and gave up on wanting to be a doctor or a lawyer even though he felt better suited to that role. Wants to be a physicist.

43:24 – 45:10
He talks about working in the direct care field and his want to help people. The direct care field helps shape people – he likes that.

45:10 – 48:10
Computer science, problem-solving and gaming – Playing League of Legends. “What do I want to do with myself”. Talking about Degrees and education, what to do with his future. Had a mental breakdown and walked away from an engineering degree. He has ADD – Test anxiety.

48:10 – 50:13
Where he’s at now, What he is doing with his life. Talks about finishing school and building a life in the direct support field. He talks about becoming unemployed due to a risk he took transitioning from working with a company to working with an individual.

50:13 – 51:19
Alex talks about issues within the company the new lady hired him through. The lady is losing her temper and getting frustrated with him. She ends up letting him go (I think). He briefly talks about the trouble he went through handing in his notice and then moves on to

51:19 – 54:41
Talks about his boss using his therapy against him and he loses both jobs and ends up unemployed

54:41 – 56:11
Alex’s grandmother dies and gets a bunch of money due to ‘malpractice’ during the surgery. Alex loses his first close family member. He talks about the value of family and wishing he spent more time with her. He didn’t go to the wake or be a pole bearer. Lots of anxieties.

56:11 – 57:23
Nothing is picking up steam for Alex – He is also living in some crazy lady’s house who is ‘racist towards him and Hispanics’

57:23 – 58:10
Crazy lady accused Alex and his cousin of trying to rape her 5 year old daughter.

58:10 – 58:55
Alex had had enough, decided to move out of the crazy lady’s house.

58:55 – 59:55
Crazy lady accuses Alex of stealing stuff from her during the move and calls police.

59:55 – 1:03:56
Current head-space – Girlfriend has to decide whether she wants to move to Texas with her mum or stay with Alex. Alex wanted her to be closer to her family whilst he worked on his education. Evidently the relationship between Alex and his girlfriend began to come to an end.

1:03:56 – 1:06:40
Girlfriend cheats on Alex with another man

1:06:40 – 1:09:28
Dealing with the grief of breaking up with his girlfriend, being suicidal and thankful for the support from his friends. He also talks about the doubts he has in life and a lack of direction.

1:09:28 – 1:11:04
Alex talks about wanting to be a hero – wanting to save people from going through what he’s gone through.

1:11:04 – 11:12:21
Interaction with a homeless dude, helping him out.

11:12:21 – 11:16:45
Talks about the positives of helping out and not giving up. Going back to the therapist, trying to get better – going to school. Things are neutral.

11:16:45 – 11:17:47
Alex isn’t as focused on finding love anymore. Trying to get better and trying different hobbies and passions Manga and Singing.

11:17:47 – 1:20:17
Alex talks about getting into singing and being influenced by the artists Daniel Caesar, Chance the Rapper, ASAP rocky, Gold Link

Future plans